Womens Things

During a pre-natal LaLeche class, I raised a concern about trying to
breast-feed while working. The instructor warned me that my job would
put me at risk for breast-feeding failure.

Then she concluded: "But that's your choice."

Fast forward to more than a decade later. A debate rages about the
"choice" of many professional women with children to stay home (For
example, see "The Opt-Out Revolution" by Lisa Belkin and "Opt Out: The
Press Discovers the Mommy Wars, Again" by Cathy Young.). Media
attention to these women raised fears that their actions would feed old
stereotypes that said women didn't really want to work.

Oh, if only it were that simple!

Few of us have the luxury of free "choice" as we strive to balance career
and family. Many of us find our "choices" severely limited.

My LaLeche instructor didn't ask if I had a spouse (swollen fingers
prevented me from wearing my wedding ring). How much of a "choice"
is it to work when you're a single parent? Or when your partner's job
lacks health insurance or enough income to support the family in decent
living conditions?

Many, many moms -- and dads -- work out of necessity rather than
choice.

At the same time, many professional women are abandoning the
workplace because of the poor choices available there.

A recent survey of 43 white professional women who had left the fast
track highlighted the scarcity of attractive workplace choices (Pamela
Stone and Meg Lovejoy in "Mommies and Daddies on the Fast Track:
Success of Parents in Demanding Professions," Sage Publications
2004).

About 90 percent of the women in the survey had struggled with the
decision to quit. A former manager at a public utilities company said:

"What...was so hard was it was like a loss of identity. Ironically, that
Sunday, after I made the decision, the sermon at church was 'Loss of
Identity because of Loss of Job or Loss of Spouse.' That kind of clicked
with me."

Moms who'd left demanding professions -- in most cases, male-
dominated professions -- cited such concerns as:

*60+ hour weeks with 24/7 responsibility.

*Inflexible schedules.

*Part-time arrangements that ended up being full time.

*"Mommy tracks" that lacked interesting work or chances for promotion.

*Downsizing and restructuring resulting in speed-up and a more
"corporate" culture less supportive of parenting.

Meanwhile, fast-track husbands and a lack of high-quality child care
added pressure from home.

Five women in the survey quit their jobs for "traditional" reasons. These
women had no ambivalence about quitting their jobs and placed a high
value on being with their children full time.

But many of us are working -- or not working -- because of factors that
have little to do with our values or "choice." A failure to recognize the
limits on "choice" all too easily leads to false blame or guilt.

Does it make any sense, then, EVER to use the word "choice" when
talking about work/family balance?

Yes -- with care.

The key is to be clear about what's under our control and what isn't.

This is going to sound strange, not being a mommy but having a "mommy moment"; it sounds strange to me too! So, let me take you back a few years so I can explain.

When my nephew was 2 years old (he's now 10), I offered to babysit him one day a week so I could develop a relationship with him. I'd missed out on doing this with the previous 5 nieces and nephews to a large extent so I didn't want to miss out on this one. This little boy had already captured my heart but I wanted more. Well, I'll tell you, I got more! He has always been very intelligent, not to mention that he was TWO. You mommies all know what that means, right?

You moms are all going to laugh, because although I'm the eldest of six children and very capable of diaper changing and feeding, I had no idea what to actually "do" with him all day. I kept thinking how do women get anything done when they have children around? That first day I was wiped out tired when his parents picked him up because I just assumed that a toddler needed constant entertaining.

We played with his toys which took up about 10 minutes, went outside to look at plants and tell him the names of flowers, and my golden retriever joined in but that took maybe another 15 minutes. I had only 6 ½ hours to go! The diaper changing took up a bit of time (I was rusty), and meal time was interesting trying to understand what he did and didn't like - I was fooled. Then I decided, well I need a moment to rest, I'll play some music! That was the key to a very enjoyable summer of learning to interact with my nephew and develop our own special relationship.

One of the first things I did was shorten the hours I had him with me! I wanted to get to know him, NOT become a surrogate mom. We finally got a routine down where we listened to music and danced together. It was such great fun and we both laughed and enjoyed that. I participated with his parents in the potty training phase - something I don't feel the need to do again but was a good lesson for me to learn. I learned he liked "macky cheese" for lunch and of course, since I am auntie, he got special chocolate snacks too. That made nap time even more difficult since he wasn't ever and still isn't the napping sort. How could anyone nap with all that sugar in them anyway??

Our relationship grew and grew as that wonderful summer progressed. He was a great little helper, and even helped me clean my refrigerator one day. My dog was used to being my baby and he was jealous but ever the tolerant golden. I taught my nephew how to dance, which was fun and we played lots of boy tumbling games - I'm a tomboy myself so it worked. Since it was summer I joined him at my mom's one day a week too. He always wanted to swim with mostly me, much to his parents chagrin. To this day, Thursdays are my swimming days with him and now his sister too. I guess he brought out the kid in me! You may be wondering where is that "mommy moment", so here it comes.

On one of our "days" together, my husband and I were in the kitchen talking. My husband was working a swing type shift for the US Postal Service back then and hadn't left for work yet. "Macky cheese" was cooking on the stove, not yet ready for my nephew to do his part of adding the cheese and stirring, the stereo was blaring in the background, my dog was trucking around keeping an eye on my nephew. My nephew was skipping around in a circle nearby making toddler noises.

Then it happened - the "mommy moment". I stopped talking to my husband to look at my nephew and sort of chuckle at his toddler singing noises, and looked around in a sort of daze, thinking, "This is a mommy moment!" This is what moms do all day and never think twice about it in order to keep their sanity and their selves intact. My nephew had blended into my life almost so seamlessly, that I had become comfortable with the routine and noises while keeping an ever vigilant eye open for him and yet continuing on in my daily chores.

This is what all you moms do daily, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week! All I can say is, with much ado, you are all phenomenal women, all of you! God has gifted you with such a tremendous gift of motherhood and with that gift comes a tremendous responsibility.
You fix the "boo boos", change the diapers, are chauffeur, chef, arbitration expert, financial wizard, stain masters, and so much, much more! Moms, you have all the skills required to run conglomerates just by what is required to be a mom. Remember that during the struggles that inevitably ensue, and grab one of those "mommy moments" from your treasure box to get you through. I do, and I'm not even a mom.

"Listen my son, accept what I say, and the years of your life will be many. I guide you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths. When you walk, your steps will not be hampered; when you run, you will not stumble. Hold onto instruction, do not let it go; guard it well, for it is your life."
Let's not forget Proverbs 31 either!

Who’ll Throw the Shower?
There’s an ongoing debate – that can actually become quite emotional and vocal – that tried to determine whether or not a relative should throw the baby shower. Traditionally, the view has been that a relative should not throw a baby shower, because it can appear that the relative is requesting
gifts. Yet traditions change, and there are times when a sibling, or a cousin, or an aunt might be the ideal and somewhat convenient choice.

So what should you do? To answer this, we can respond with the best, and sometimes most unsatisfying answer of them all: it depends.

Sorry, but it really does depend. If you hail from a rather traditional or conventional background, it may be wise to see that a non-relative is in charge of the baby shower. In addition, even if you, personally, are comfortable with a relative throwing the baby shower, some of your guests – who may be less comfortable with it than you – may object (or just whisper about it behind your back).

Use your judgment here. Perhaps the most practical advice is this: if you can conveniently and pleasantly not have a relative run things, then that will likely be the best route to go. However, if that’s just not possible, plausible, or preferred, then don’t feel like you’re someone from outer
space because you’re related to the mother-to-be. More and more people are breaking with tradition; especially since they feel that the perception of a relative “asking for gifts”
arguably doesn’t exist anymore.

Gifts (which we talk about further on in this book) are rather integral to baby showers; it’s quite hard to imagine one without gifts. Since that is the case, whether a relative requests them from those attending the baby shower, or a non-relative requests them, arguably isn’t important to those attending. They’re likely focused on what the baby shower should focus on: the mother-to-be, and a wonderful opportunity to share in her joy.

Now, there’s an amusing (at least from our current detached perspective) on this that you should know about. Some people may not want to run the baby shower. It’s assumed that if you’re reading this, that you’re quite happy with the assignment, and you’d like to do some quality – and easy! –
research so that everything goes off without a hitch.

Yet if you aren’t the one whose holding the baby shower, but perhaps the mother-to-be who is about to hand over this book to a relative or friend who will hold the shower, then we should take a little time-out to talk about something important.

A baby shower is a wonderful event that is filled with laughter, love, and perhaps a few tears (of happiness). Yet putting one together can require an investment of time. Not a lot of time; not compared to, say, planning a wedding or for some people, planning a vacation.

Yet it’s fair to simply note that putting together a baby shower does require some focus, and some time. If you’re about to nominate someone to take on this task, then please bear this in mind; that person should understand that they’ll need to do a little bit of work (but it’s fun work, of course).
And if you’ve been asked to put together a baby shower – or if it’s just been assumed that you’ll do it – and you’re a little worried about your own lack of time available, then don’t worry. This book will help you immensely. Furthermore, nothing is stopping you from recruiting a deputy or two to help you with the details, such as preparing food, refreshments, and helping with decorations and games.

When Should the Shower Happen?
This is an important question to ask, and of course, to answer. And as usual, there are a few different viewpoints on when to hold the baby shower. Fortunately, however, these views aren’t as debatable as they sometimes are when it comes to whether a relative or non-relative should hold the baby shower (as we discussed above). So don’t worry; this is a rather easy and straightforward challenge to solve.
Now, the real problem here is simply that there isn’t a clear answer to the question: when should the shower happen? The answer to this will almost always depend on factors that are specific to the mother-to-be, the guests, and other issues.

So rather than providing a “one-size-fits-all” answer here – which is something that we can’t do without knowing the details of your particular baby shower – let’s just look at the variables. Once you know these, you’ll easily be able to determine when the baby shower should be held.

The Mother-to-Be
Let’s start with mother-to-be. She may have a preference about when the shower should be held; and this preference should be heeded. The father-to-be might also provide input here, which is wonderful and should be part of the overall decision-making process (we take a closer look at “couples” baby-showers later on in this book).

What kinds of things might influence a mother-to-be’s preference on when the shower should be held? Some of them prefer to have the shower when they’re showing; they may feel that there’s something more appropriate (for lack of a better word) about holding a shower when people can
actually see that a baby is on the way.

In practical terms, this means that a shower might be held well into the second trimester, or into the third.

The Guests
As we all know, December is a season for parties and events; both business, and personal. As a result, it may be polite to not hold the baby shower during “party season”, as it may influence whether people would be able to attend (or be able to relax when they attend, because they don’t have
three more “get togethers” to go to after the baby shower!).Furthermore, if you live in a wintry climate, it may be a pleasant idea to not have the baby shower in the dead of winter. True, life does go on in the middle of January and people go to work and do many of the things that they want to do (go shopping, go to restaurants, and so on), but if it makes absolutely no difference to you and the mother-to-be (and/or the father-to-be) whether the baby shower is held in late January or late April, then it may be advisable to choose the latter; simply for climate concerns.

The Gifts
This is one that most people don’t think about until someone brings it up, and then they say to themselves: ohhhh, yes, that makes sense! Fortunately for you, you’re getting a sneak-peak at that thought well before someone at the baby shower asks it! As we all know, some people prefer to give gender-specific gifts. While, indeed, times have changed and makers of baby-related items are creating more gender-neutral items, there’s still a large contingent of people who want to give baby blue gifts to an impending son, or pink gifts to an impending daughter.In light of this, if the parents-to-be have decided to learn the baby’s gender via ultrasound, and further decided to share that information with the world-at-large, then it may be very appreciated by the baby shower guests if you hold  the shower after the baby’s gender information has widely disseminated. In other words: some people will be grateful that they know whether a boy or girl is on the way before they buy their gift.

Ultrasound gender diagnostic tests typically happen around the 9 week mark of gestation (though it can be later in some cases), and so this factor may influence whether you hold the shower early on, or wait until this information is known (assuming, of course, that the parents-to-be want to
know!).

Post-Birth Baby Showers
Some people are surprised to learn that many baby showers happen after the baby has been born. Actually, this is quite common because, in addition to having the shower itself, this timing affords guests the wonderful opportunity to actually see the baby (and make all kinds of goo goo gaa
gaa noises that we all love to make!). Holding a post-birth shower may also work out better in light
of other factors noted above, such as climate, and preferences of the parents-to-be.

Sending out Invitations
Okay, here’s where things can be a little bit awkward.Scratch that; here’s where some people dread being in charge of a baby shower, because at issue is: who to invite?

A good rule of thumb here is to work with the mother (and ideally, the father) to-be in order to decide who should attend, and who should be left off the list. This is a delicate scenario and can cause a number of minor headaches (even some major ones).
The problem is, simply, that while it would be ideal to invite everyone who would want to attend, that’s just not practical; either economically, or simply in terms of planning. Ultimately, decisions will have to be made, and if you can work with the parents-to-be to make these decisions, the chances of making wise ones will increase. Once you’ve figured out who to invite – and this process can take a few days of thinking and re-thinking – the next step is to send out the invitations. Ensure that you do this well in advance of the baby shower. There are two major reasons for this.

Firstly, you want to give your invitees enough lead time to that if they do have something planned on the baby shower date that they can, if they wish, move those plans in order to attend. If you don’t provide them with enough notice,even if they want to change their existing plans, they might
not be able to.

Secondly, you want to give people enough time to RSVP (i.e. confirm their attendance). Some people are not the most organized people in the world, and as such they might not RSVP right away. As such, you want to give them a bit of time to get to this on their ever-growing TO-DO list. Now, there’s another issue here that we should discuss. Some people think, or just assume really, that if you don’t RSVP, that means you aren’t attending. That’s actually not technically correct. RSVP doesn’t mean (even in the French language from where it comes) that someone is going to attend. It simply means: please get back to me on this. So what’s the issue? It’s that it can be a little disastrous to assume that if you don’t get an RSVP, that people won’t attend. Because some people will simply show up, and when you say that you assumed they weren’t coming because they didn’t “RSVP”, they may frown and say what we’re pointing out here: RSVP, itself, doesn’t mean yes or
no. It just means: please respond. Naturally, of course, people should RSVP and let you know if they’re going to attend. It’s the polite thing to do, without question. But polite is one of those eye of the beholder terms; and people who haven’t invested several days of their life to putting a memorable baby shower together may not realize how impolite they are being by just showing up, unannounced.

So how do you solve this problem? Well, like all good solutions: you head it off before it becomes a problem! While you want to have all of your invitees RSVP, you should make it utterly clear that you’d like a response regardless of whether they will attend. To that end, depending on the size of your baby shower guest list, you should include a self-addressed stamped envelope and a self-typed note with each invitation that says something like this:

Dear Mary,

You are warmly invited to attend a baby shower forour friend Darla! The shower will be held on April 15th at 1:30pm. It will be held at my home, which is at 123 Main Street. It’s just one block east of Main and 8th Avenue, and ample parking is available on the street. If you need directions, please call me at 555-1234. We’d like to have a sense of how many of Darla’s friends will be able to attend. Could you please fill out this form below by checking in the appropriate box,and then mail it to me in the self-addressed stamped envelope provided? Please Send it to me by March 28th. Thank you so much!

(please check one)
I will be attending Jane’s baby shower on April 15th at 1:30pm.
I regretfully will not be able to attend the baby shower.
*** Remember: Please mail before March 28th in the self-addressed stamped envelope provided.

THANK YOU! ***


You can create any variation of this as you want. This is just a simple little sample that highlights the things that you should ask: whether an invitee is attending, or whether an invitee isn’t. In other words, you don’t want any grey area here; you don’t want any default that says: I didn’t reply, so I’m not coming. A little note like the one above obliges, in a polite and tasteful way, your invitee to actively let you know whether they’ll show up or not. Now, if your baby shower guest list is smaller and it’s
feasible to do so, you may want to skip the mailing campaign and just phone people up and ask them to attend.If you have the time and the ability to do so (e.g. the guest list is small enough for you to manage), this is the preferred method. It gives your invitees the opportunity to ask pertinent questions, such as whether the mother-to-be is in any gift registry. Let’s talk about this right now.
To Gift Registry or Not to Gift Registry This is another one of those fun decisions that involve the
mother-to-be, and probably the father-to-be, as well. Gift registries are, generally speaking, wonderful inventions because the conveniently solve a lot of potentially confusing problems, such as:

 What will the parents-to-be want as a gift?
 What gift items have already been purchased by other invitees?
 What price range is appropriate?

So with all of this evidence in favor of gift registries, why might someone not use one? Well, there are few reasons. The simplest reason is one of preference. Some people simply don’t want to limit the range of things that guests might buy; especially if some gifts aren’t typically found in stores that offer registries. For example, some artistic guests may want to create something for the baby; perhaps
wooden mobile, or a beautiful picture to hang in the baby’s room. These kinds of items, by definition, can’t appear on a gift registry; and so parents-to-be might wish to avoid using one. Another reason is one of cost. Depending on the number of people invited to the baby shower, and presuming that those
that have been invited attend, there may be a slight awkwardness if the registry contains gift possibilities that might frankly be outside of a person’s price range. This can indeed be awkward.
For example, if 20% of the gifts in the registry are below,say, $30, there is some possibility that these ones will be snatched up first; thus leaving a latecomer to buy something more expensive, or risk buying something that isn’t on the registry at all and therefore might not be wanted by the
parents.
To help deal with this situation, it’s possible for you (as the organizer) for informally recommend that people band together to buy certain bigger ticket items, like a crib or a stroller. In this way, people can still stay within their budget limitations, yet purchase something that the parents want, and indeed, need (since babies can be very expensive!). Remember, of course, that if you choose the registry route, that you provide all the necessary details. It may also be wise to include your phone number if anyone has any questions about gifts or the registry.

Such an expression of grief that came from nowhere; one moment all the ladies were raving about how blessed the church was with so many pregnancies, the next all the attention was on my wife.

And all she said was, 'I'm avoiding those women, must be about 20 of them, simply because it's too much when we're trying and getting nowhere. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy for them, but [tears beginning to well up in her eyes, a quiver arriving on her voice] the pain of seeing them have babies is too much for me.'

It was a moment in a church small group meeting where the mood changed. Joy shifted to sadness as compassion arrived to meet my wife where she was. There were no clichés, there was nobody fobbing her off, and nobody tried to offer a solution... just a moment's silence, as if all the women there knew exactly how my wife felt. It was a very sweet moment, even if it took a mighty amount of courage for my introverted wife to pipe up.

It was a risk of transformational guts that shook the meeting to a deeper, better, more truth-filled place.

Mother's Day that year was tough. It was horrible. We couldn't get away from all the joy of the event at church, but at least the church offered a remembrance for those who struggle on Mother's Day.

It hasn't been the only tough Mother's Day. Truth be told, probably more than half of our Mother's Days together have been tough.

It's because such a day is somehow supposed to be so perfect, and it never is.

It's because the day is resplendent with reminders of the various kinds of loss we've been exposed to.

It's because we know of so many within our reach of ministry who lament and cannot connect with this supposed sacred of maternal days.

Anyone reading this will quickly identify in themselves or in someone close to them the slivering shards of pain that quicken an unforgettable grief to the heart on an entirely forgettable day.

Mother's Day is unfortunately one of those days. It draws what pain might be there to the surface. Such days, therefore, are ideal opportunities to connect with people in their brokenness; particularly, in this case, women in many life circumstances, and men as well.

But will we go there with them? Will we look deeper than the apparent joy? Will we invite and welcome through the door of our heart a vitalising authenticity?

Of course, there are many retail winners on days many deem as forgettable. Sure, it's good for the economy. And my mother always did say that Mother's Day should be every day of the year, not just the second Sunday in May. Our mothers deserve more honour than being heralded as saints one day per year.

But it is to the women who bear an unforgettable grief on a forgettable day that this piece is written. Those who wish to be mothers who can't. Those who live in the middle ground of a hope yet to be realised. Those who lost babies, or sons or daughters far too early; a grief never forgotten. Those who have lost their mothers; the living connection to the person who sheltered their vulnerable self through the formative years and who connects them to their matchless humanity. Those, too, whose mothers let them down and never met them when they needed them most. Those who cannot be physically close to their mothers or their sons or daughters.

I am constantly inspired by the strength that I see in my wife to step forward, particularly in those many seasons of life where grief was stark. The same goes for many other women I've taken note of who have attempted to do the same thing.

To each person stung by an inescapable reality, my prayer is you'll be met by the God of your own creation.

Motherhood is a gift and no one could ever take that gift away from you. Before the time of conception, you are being prepared to become the perfect mother to your beloved. Your entire being has been designed to become fit as a mom.

As soon as the baby is born, you would realize that you possess certain characteristics, talents, and abilities that you didn't know exist hadn't you become a mother. That is why there is no such thing as incompetent mom, there is however, someone who is just not willing to take on the responsibility.

Whether you have been a mom for a long time already or still about to embark the journey, know for a fact that there's so many things to love about motherhood. Here are some of the reasons why:

Unending support

Motherhood is not a walk in the park. There will be lots of challenges and roller coaster rides along the way - and this is normal. You would experience occasional bouts of intense emotions or perhaps experience tremendous stress during the first years due to lack of sleep and physical tiredness.

Despite of all the difficulties experience by a mother, it is actually the perfect time to see and know how much support you have around you. Your spouse would be the first one to be there for your needs (especially in the emotional aspect) & your immediate relatives like your own mother will be there to guide you every step of the way, teaching you what and what's not in raising a child.

This support you'll receive won't be at par with the support you experienced in the past, because the support shown to you will have a significant impact to your entire motherhood experience.

Sense of accomplishment

No one said that raising up a child is easy. In fact, there are no shortcuts to it. The complexities of motherhood will what makes it very challenging and exciting for every single mother out there. Once you break through from all the challenges you face, that will be the time you would begin to feel a deep sense of accomplishment for yourself.

A connection with your own child

An opportunity like this does not always come. Being a mother gives you opportunities to see and discover the world of your own flesh and blood and also lets you have a deeper sense of connection with them.

You get to embrace them with your own arms, play with them, talk with them anytime of the day, and even sleep beside them all through the night. Being able to get connected to your own child is a priceless gift that does not happen all the time.

Opportunities to watch them grow

Children don't stay where they are. They grow to become mature and independent. The opportunity to be able to watch them grow from being an infant down to becoming an adult is truly rewarding. It is even more amazing to think that you will be there in their most promising time to be their number 1 supporter.

As they grow, you begin to see what their interests are and see how those interests evolve to be their strengths and capabilities.

Bundle of Joy

Even in the most trying times, your child can be your ultimate joy and satisfaction. Children are a heritage, a reward, and a blessing to families. Most parents would agree that children can be your source of strength when times are tough, and joy when things go rough.

They will serve as your inspiration in everything you do. In the past all you did was for yourself, but now you get a sense of purpose in everything you do- and all of them for your children. As a parent, you would always want their best interest in mind. And while you busy yourself raising up your child, you will also feel the joy of being their mother.

Motherhood is both hard work and joy. They go hand in hand and that makes it very rewarding. Motherhood may not be for everyone, but to those who have been honed by it, they would be more than willing to share to everyone their experience of motherhood bit by bit.

I am George Patt, passionate writer, photographer, traveler and technology addicted. Proud dad of three awesome boys.

Until the moment I became a mother, I couldn't quite understand or comprehend the depth when people say "Mothers are the strongest, most noble and loving people in this whole wide world" It's just a whole bunch of cliché stuff that I could live without, thank you very much!

The pain. The joy. The sacrifices. The love. The fear. The confusion. The anxiety, panic, loss of time, loss of privacy. The internal battle between a person's own inner personality conflicting with those of being a mother. The need to be alone and oneself roughly pushed aside because a child needs caring, loving and affection. The loss of sleep, the loss of opportunities.

I knew but I never understood.

Now that I am mom, everything within me is screaming for attention. My needs to be the best mom in this whole wide world and the need for me to be the best that I can be. Now, I realize the weight of the statement. We are the noblest people in this whole wide world.

There are many different sensations which come along with being a mother. Some good and some bad.

Best moments of motherhood
1. Seeing your baby's first smile (does it matter that it could have been wind in tummy? Nah!)

2. Breastfeeding

3. Baby cooing and smiling when she sees you

4. Baby calms down when you give me a nice warm cuddle

5. Baby's first tooth

6. The first giant wobbly step

7. The first word

8. The first baby utters 'mamma' or 'mommy'

9. Getting down for tickle-time...right after story time

10. Seeing your child/baby overcome an obstacle without your help

11. The start of potty training (Very huge accomplishment)

12. The first A, B, C...

13. The first 1, 2, 3

14. When your baby comes over to you for a hug (for no apparent reason at all)

15. When someone tells you that your child is handsome or pretty

16. When someone compliments you on how well-behaved your child is

17. Child learns how to dance

18. Enjoying the off-key singing of your child

19. Seeing your child make new friends

20. Your child is able to love someone else other than you and herself.

21. You can dance around naked with your child with no inhibition

22. Going shopping with your teen.

23. Kissing your child in the morning before leaving for work

24. when your child gives you something to show you what a wonderful mother you have been to him/her.

Worst moments of motherhood
1. colic

2. First month as a mother

3. Teething problems

4. Inability to understand what your child is yabbering about (when learning to talk)

5. Sleeplessness

6. Awful excess of weight

7. First few months returning to work

8. Separation anxiety (for both mother and child)

9. Missing your child when you're alone

10. The inability to watch a single TV program or movie right to the end uninterrupted

11. Missing out with all your unmarried, child-less friends

12. Missing out on those romantic diaper-less moments with your spouse

13. Baby giving your health shock 3 times a week

14. The first few days of weaning baby onto solids

15. Weaning baby from the breast

16. You feel like complete old hag in a disco or party.

17. First few times baby starts walking (toddling)

18. Throwing a tantrum of your own in response to your child's

19. Clinging child when you're tired from work or rushing to meet a deadline

20. Starting preschool

21. Employing a new nanny

22. When your teen gets his/her driving license....oohhh....the tension and stress!

23. When your teen tells you she's got a boyfriend...worse still, she doesn't tell you a ting and you find out about it from your neighbor.